As you sit on Zoom for what seems like an endless number of hours each day, longing for the embrace of a friend or partner, you may find yourself wondering, “Will this pandemic  permanently change me?” “Will my ability to form relationships be altered forever?” or “Will I find future physical contact too overwhelming?”

When I started writing this piece, I was still a virgin. Three weeks can really make a difference. 

I lost my virginity nine days before I turned 22. If you would’ve told this to my high school self, I wouldn’t have believed you. Mostly because I never thought I'd ever be that old, but also because — how am I so old and still a virgin?

I am the type of person who finds their could-be soulmate almost every day. The skater boys practicing their kickflips in Red Square; the talkative clerk bagging my groceries at QFC; the fluffy-haired angel with glasses sitting in the fifth row in my Kane Hall lecture. 

According to a 2013 study, “between 60[%] and 80[%] of North American college students have had some sort of hook-up experience,” a trend that was halted due to the COVID-19 pandemic shutdowns that swept the nation in March 2020. 

In my mind I can see a line that separates my life from its purpose. On one side, I’m younger and I don’t know much about anything; I care about my friends and their happiness, even as time closes eras and forces disconnect. On the other, I’m mature and I’ve been places; I’m someone’s partner and I no longer fear the idea of togetherness as just two people.

If Instagram is your favorite platform, you are very, very average. Exceptionally so. This is reflected in your sex life. You’ve probably mostly had sex within a relationship, the kind where you post a less than flattering photo of your significant other captioned “my whole world” to celebrate nine months, which, frankly, is a weird milestone to celebrate outside of pregnancy.